Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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