I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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