i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
