Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
