I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
