They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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