i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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