I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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