She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
