No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
