My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
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Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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