Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
