I just saw a hot homeless man
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
