I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
