is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
