What a fucking waste of an outfit
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
