i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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