I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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