The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
