I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
