We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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