I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
