I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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