we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
