talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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