i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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