when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
