Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why do cheetos always look like penises
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Congratulations! We have a period
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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