Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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