Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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