We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
we made out on top of his cat.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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