You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
