i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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