That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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