All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
