i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
