the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You're like the curious george of whores
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
