If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
