My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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