What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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