I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
