my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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