Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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