i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm too high and old for this...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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