I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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