I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize