Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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