Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
