I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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