Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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