people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
