just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
