her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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