3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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