PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
