I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize