i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize