Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
