I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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