Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
