yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
