Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
look no pants
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
