YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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