I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
