So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
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