But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
